Al-Anon Meeting Topic: Being Unreasonable

I Was Trying to Force Solutions

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I Was Unreasonable and Didn't Know It. © Getty Images

When I first heard in the Al-Anon opening statement, read at the beginning of most meetings, about "our thinking becomes distorted when we try to force solutions and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it" I didn't really understand what that meant. I was almost certain that part could not possibly apply to me!

After all, I was the one who was always totally logical and reasonable.

She was the crazy alcoholic!

Trying to Force Solutions

As I kept coming back and started to learn how everybody has a higher power who has a plan for their life and that plan is based on God's perfect timing. I realize that by trying to "force solutions" to the problems caused by alcoholism in my family, I was basically getting in the way of God's plan and God's timing.

Because my timing and my thinking did not line up with God's perfect plan and perfect timing, it was by definition "distorted." Because I reasoned that things should happen my way when I wanted them to - without giving any consideration to what God's plan and timing might happen to be - I was being unreasonable without even knowing that I was doing so.

Some Will Find Help, Others Won't

I know today that there are some alcoholics who are going to find their way into recovery and there are some who never will. I know there are some who will reach out for help when they are ready, and not a minute before they are ready.

And I know, unfortunately, there are some who will never seek help and will continue to drink until the drink themselves to death. It's their decision and not one that I have any control over.

Turn It Over to a Higher Power

So now, thank goodness, when I see a situation that I think needs to be "fixed" I pray about it, and turn in over to God.

And if it doesn't change immediately, or doesn't turn out the way I planned it, I know now I have to accept that it will or will not happen according to God's plan and in his timing for their lives.

God didn't go on vacation and leave me in charge. Everyone has a higher power and, I have learned through the Al-Anon program, it's not me!

-- BuddyT

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