Coping with Crying Twins

Tips for New Parents of Twins, Triplets or More

Coping with Crying Twins
Coping with Crying Twins. Sue Barr/Image Source/Getty Images

It's one of a parent's biggest nightmares: two babies, both crying at the same time, and not being able to comfort them both at the same time. For parents of twins, this is becomes a reality all too often. But before you dissolve into tears also, try these tips for coping with crying twins. When you know what to do when your twins are crying, you'll be better equipped to dry the tears. 

Excerpted from The Everything Twins, Triplets and More Book (Buy at by Pamela P. Fierro (Adams Media, 2012)

Crying is Communicating

Newborn babies are a feast for the senses: the sight of ten perfect little toes, the smell of their tender skin, the silky softness of their downy hair. One of the great joys of having multiples is being able to revel in these glorious sensations. However, the sound of multiple newborns is not always quite so pleasant for parents. Researchers estimate that babies spend one to two hours a day crying. Multiply that by two for twins or three for triplets, and that's an awful lot of bawling!

Interpreting the Cries

Imagine if your babies were born with the ability to say, "Hi, Mom and Dad! We love our new home, but isn't it about time for dinner?" Unfortunately, language is an acquired skill, and until it develops, babies have to rely on other forms of communication. 

Their primary mode is crying. If you think about crying as communication rather than an annoying emission of useless sound, you'll be a much more effective -- and much less frustrated -- parent.

It's your job to translate the cries and craft an appropriate response. 

e-SSENTIAL: With multiples, you'll face the additional challenge of distinguishing the individual cries of each baby. even as newborns your multiples are unique individuals. Each has his own needs and his own style of expressing them. It's important to respond to them as individuals, rather than always as a group.

Coping with Crying

Crying is a part of life when you're caring for babies. Unfortunately, it can also become a source of frustration. As a parent, you want so badly to be able to soothe and comfort your children, and inconsolable crying may feel like a failure of that goal.

When the crying becomes overwhelming, it’s vital that you take steps to avoid losing control. There will be times when all the babies are crying at the same time, and you simply aren’t able to stop it. When that happens, try one of these coping strategies.

  • Walk away. Put the babies in a safe, secure place, such as a crib or playpen, and walk into another room for a minute. Take deep breaths to calm down. Count to twenty and then return to the babies.
  • Use a calm, soothing voice to talk to the babies. It doesn’t matter what you say. The sound of your voice may offer some temporary consolation, or at the very least, reassure them that you are aware of their needs.
  • If their crying escalates over your calm voice, try singing! It may not stop the crying, but it will distract you from the chaos at hand and help you endure the maelstrom.

Above all, keep a sense of humor. In a few years, this will be a funny memory of life with multiples!

Reprinted with permission. Copyright 2012, F+W Publications, Inc. All rights reserved.