Good Experiences Disclosing Multiple Sclerosis When Dating

Sometimes it all works out fine...

For those of you whom I may have seriously bummed out with the stories in Bad Experiences Disclosing Multiple Sclerosis When Dating, I bring you these stories of hope and love:

  • I disclosed my multiple sclerosis (MS) on the first date, to me it was a "take it or leave it as is" issue. It was a little shocking for him at first but he took it "as is" and we've been together now for 1 year. He's become knowledgeable of what MS is and what it could be, he's learned about my medication (Tysabri) and pushes me to take care of myself. I'm happy about this outcome.
  • I found out I had MS in 2002 and I was married with 4 sons. I got divorced in 2008 and met a man in March of 2009. We talked all night all about our past lives. He said, “I know you have something else to tell me and when you’re ready you will.” Two days later I told him I had MS. It was the hardest thing I ever done but it is best to tell as soon as possible. We have been dating for 3 years and he loves me and I love him. My MS was not a issue at all. He is such an amazing man. So for all of you out there with MS and are dating it is best to tell in the beginning of the relationship. Good luck to all of you hoping it turns out as wonderful as mine did!!!
  • Four years ago my girlfriend was finally diagnosed with MS - after several years of undiagnosed symptoms. We were devastated but I immersed myself in research about the disease while she freaked on the idea that I would "dump" her because of her diagnosis. I didn't care that she had MS. I love her too much to back away from the best relationship I ever had. We married seven months after her diagnosis and I couldn't be happier. I realize that this could be a burden on our marriage, but I don't care. I will carry her until my death if need be.
  • I gave my (now) husband a hint right from the beginning, on our first date. I just said I had a shaky health. In the following weeks I mentioned here and there that I used to feel “this” and “that” (the MS symptoms), but I didn't want to talk about it. One month later he figured it out himself. I think that he valued the fact that I never lied to him. He is my husband now.
  • I met my gal who has MS about 6 years ago on the Internet. She lived in Colorado while I was in California. What caught my eye in her profile was the statement: "I have MS but MS doesn't have me,” which pretty much described her attitude about the whole thing. With MS she is somewhat paralyzed on her left side and so on our initial meeting I was mentally prepared to see her in a wheelchair, but what eventually captured my heart was her spunk and her unwillingness to allow MS to keep her from enjoying life.
  • Maybe I'm a little different. I was diagnosed in 1999. I feel that life is easier to live without secrets, so I'm like an open book. I also have a "thick skin" so it doesn't matter to me if people want to look at me in a different light because of it. I met my wife in 2000, and we married 1 year later. I met her in a school for the disabled, so my situation is different, but there are many times where she actually forgets that I have MS. All I can say to everyone is "Keep your chin up!" and don't worry about what other people think. Be happy being single and sooner or later, that "one" will come to you and it will work out, or it won't, but you can still be very happy being single, which takes a lot of the pressure off!
  • I've been dating this gorgeous, sympathetic, loving, unselfish, caring, and (last but not least) extremely smart girl for about three months now, and she just told me that she has MS. I love her and under no circumstances did I ever plan to leave her; she is the one! But the problem that is eating away my heart is that she doesn't want me to be with someone that is broken! She thinks that I should forget about her and move on! Now, I know she loves me, and that's what is killing me the most! I have reached out to experts and educated myself about MS to be proactive in out relationship, hoping one day she will realize that I am fully aware of the unpredictable symptoms that MS carries and I will accept any responsibilities that are attached with her love! There is nothing in this lifetime that will make me stop loving her!
  • When I met my boyfriend six years ago, I told him right from the get-go. We had gone on one date after our initial meeting, and he told me that he competed in the Iron Man competition, ran 6 miles a day and trained 7 days a week. I knew that when I told him, he would either bail, or stick with me. Well, he has stuck with me through three relapses, a bum leg (I'm constantly tripping), and a 45-pound weight gain from meds (he actually loves my "plus-size" body). So, I would say, be up front. If he bails, he wasn't for you and you're better off without him because now you can go out and meet the great guy who WILL stick with you.
  • I reunited with my 1st love, after 30 years apart. We had both gone through a divorce. I knew about her MS going in. I love her, plain and simple. We plan on spending the rest of our lives together, regardless of her MS. It is not who she is and at any given moment, anyone’s life can change. It comes down to love and commitment.

Bottom Line: Dating is rarely easy, and there is no doubt that MS can complicate things. However, I hope these stories from real people living with MS show you that there just may be someone out there for you. For more discussion about talking about your MS to someone you are dating, read When to Disclose Multiple Sclerosis to Your Date.

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