Learn to Communicate Effectively with Your Teen Day 3

Day 3: Effective Communication in Discipline

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Parenting Class Quick Links: Index | Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5

What You’ll Learn Today

  1. Benefits of effective communication in discipline.
  2. How to use effective communication to set rules, limits and responsibilities.
  3. How to use effective communication to enforce rules, limits and responsibilities.

Benefits of Effective Communication in Discipline

In today’s lesson, you’ll learn about using effective communication in discipline, which is creating and enforcing rules, limits and responsibilities.

This part of parenting a teen is full of loopholes, roller coasters, and trap doors. But if you are effectively communicating with your teen, disciplining him will not be the bane of your existence. Here is how effective communication helps parents discipline:

Using Effective Communication to Set Rules, Limits and Responsibilities

Here are four tips to setting rules, limits and consequences using your effective communication skills:

  • Be clear about your expectations for rules and limits and the consequences for misbehavior, even if you have to write them down.
  • Don’t be afraid to delegate a responsibility to your teen. Don’t scare your teen off either. Saying things like, “We’ll work it out if it doesn’t go right, but I think you can do it. Just try.” goes a long way in boosting your teen’s confidence.
  • When it comes to consequences, let your teen have a say. They will feel ownership of the mistake when they’ve helped set up the consequences.
  • Your values are important to talk about when setting limits for your teen. They bond you as a family and make you who you are as a person. This is true for your teen too.

Tips on Using Effective Communication to Enforce Rules, Limits, and Responsibilities

  • Keep your emotions in check. When your teen breaks a rule or wanders past his limits, you may become rightfully upset. Unfortunately, this can lead to yelling instead of effectively communicating your feelings. You can only be assured that you are effectively communicating with your teen if you have your emotions under control.
  • Unconditionally loving your teen sometimes means you’re the bad guy. Remember that being a parent isn’t easy, but you have a worthwhile goal of producing a happy and successful adult. Keeping this goal forefront in your mind will give your discipline talks the confidence they deserve.
  • Avoid long lectures. Simply state the consequence previously agreed on and that you expect your teen will follow through with it.
  • Respect is a two-way street. Be sure to keep your conversations respectful.
  • Keep your thoughts to yourself around other people when you are upset. You will alienate your teen if you share their dirty laundry with neighbors or extended family. This could break down the trust your teen has in you.

Today’s Assignment: Use a Parenting Contract

Choose a behavior your teen is currently doing that you would like to see change or something you would like to see your teen do better, like school grades. Resolve to change it together by using a parenting contract. Be sure the behavior is not too big for your teen to put forth an actual effort. For instance, bringing up a math grade is good. Bringing up all of his grades is too much.

Recommended Articles in Today’s Lesson

Parenting Class Quick Links:Index | Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5

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