Fish Out of Water: Become Outgoing By Acting Outgoing

Superman standing on a roof.
Take on the challenge of being outgoing by acting more confident than you intially feel. Getty / Robert Daly

To be more outgoing you must first change your style and behavior; through deliberate action, forceful habits can become second nature.

Some basic practices you should get into the habit of doing might seem simple at first, but as these become second nature you will have a much easier time tackling more advanced behaviors of an outgoing person.

Outlined below you’ll find 3 simple behaviors and the reasoning behind each.

1. Greetings

Start by greeting people more often with a simple “Hello” or “Good Morning” with a smile. After you become more comfortable with simple greetings to strangers try these simple tricks to get more comfortable actually initiating conversations with others.

Try asking a stranger for directions to a destination that you already know how to get to and is nearby. Start with the greetings you’ve become comfortable with doing in the earlier days or weeks.

Example: While walking the same route you always walk, you see someone with whom you’d like to practice initiating conversation. Say something like, “Good morning, do you know where the grocery store is?”

Even though you’ve walked past the grocery store 10 minutes earlier you are accomplishing two things here.

First, you are practicing initiating conversation. Second, people are much more likely to respond in a friendly manner when you put them in a default position of power.

In this situation, the other person feels he’s more knowledgeable than you so he’s more willing to help.

2. Confident Posture

Back straight, chest forward, shoulders back. The intent is to avoid the “slumped over” manner in which many introverted people carry themselves. This promotes a self-confident look and over time will cause inner feelings of confidence to rise.

3. Eyes

Your eyes should be looking level or higher as you walk. If you are looking at the ground while you are walking, you are doing this wrong.

Most importantly, when speaking with any individual, you must always maintain good eye contact. If you have trouble with this try this simple tip: Focus your vision directly between the eyebrows of the other individual.

This might seem silly but gives the illusion that you are maintaining eye contact, while easing the anxiety of actually having to look another person in the eyes.

4. Be Confident

This is easier than it sounds! This does take practice, however. The best way to practice is to immerse yourself in an unfamiliar area, preferably somewhere that you do not know anyone. There are several reasons behind this.

The most obvious reason is that if you wish to become more outgoing, you must BE more outgoing. Just like if you wanted to get better at lifting weights, you would start lifting weights.

The reasons you want to go to an unfamiliar area are simple.

These people don’t know you, don’t care about you, and (most importantly) will forget you even exist when you leave and go back to your normal location/area. If you look at the situation in that context, even if you completely bumble your way through a conversation and make a fool of yourself, nobody you know will ever hear about it.

Final Thoughts

In summary, begin by acting like what you wish to become!

If you wanted to become a professional golfer, you would undoubtedly begin golfing more. This holds true for socializing and being more outgoing. If you want to be more outgoing you need to initiate more conversation.

Start small, maintain your posture and composure, and practice with complete strangers so that you can leave the whole situation behind you if you aren’t pleased with the outcome. The more you practice, the more outgoing you will become and eventually this composure will become second nature to you.

Good luck and don’t forget to SMILE more!

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