Five Ways to Make Safe(r) Sex Hotter Sex

There's one complaint that people have about practicing safe sex that I hear more often than any other. That complaint is that having safer sex "kills the mood." However, that doesn't have to be the case. Changing the way that you think about condoms and other barriers can change them from mood killers to mood makers. Want to make safe sex hot sex? Start eroticizing self-care. Be intentional about your choices, and make them enjoyable ones. 

I Want You To Want Me

Intimate couple undressing
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Communication is an important part of practicing safer sex. That doesn't just mean talking about condom use and testing history. It also means talking about what you want from your partner,. It means discussing what you want to do with them. It means showing them you're enthusiastic about being with them and learning that they feel the same way about you. There's nothing sexier than wanting someone who wants you back. Talking about sex with your partner can show you how true that is. 

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No Barrier To Pleasure

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If you assume that condoms and other barriers are going to be a part of your sex life no matter what, then they aren't barriers to pleasure. They are gateways to pleasure. After all, if you aren't going to have sex without them, pulling them out means a good time is at hand.

When condoms are part of your routine, they don't feel like interruptions. Instead, taking one out becomes a way of escalating things to a more intimate level. Hearing a condom packet tear open can become as erotic as a lover's sigh. When you hear it, you know where things are going next.

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Make Application Exciting

Man pulling off latex glove
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Putting a condom on, or taking out a barrier, doesn't have to just be a means to an end. It can be an end in itself. Try putting a condom on your partner with your mouth. Experiment by teasing them with the fingers of a glove. Make latex an accessory to love.

Spice Things Up

Open condom wrapper
(c)2009 Elizabeth Boskey licensed to, Inc.

Condom companies are manufacturing a growing number of specialty condoms. These products are designed not just to make sex safer but also to make sex more exciting. You want to be careful not to use novelty condoms for safe sex. However, colored condoms, glow in the dark condoms, and condoms with bumps, interesting lubricants, and even vibrating rings are available to spice up your sex life. Try out different options and see what you like. Make safe sex the motivation you need to find new ways to liven up your play.

Use Safety as an Invitation to Explore

Woman hugging another woman
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Don't want to think about negotiating condoms for intercourse or oral sex? Worried about the risks of anal sex? Maybe it's time to explore other options for being sexual and sensual together. Sex isn't just about penetration or stimulation of specific body parts. It's about intimacy and connection.

There are many ways that people can find pleasure that don't require thinking about STDs. From role play and bondage to mutual masturbation or even necking on the couch, there's a lot to explore. Let your interest in safety become an invitation to creativity - both inside the bedroom and out.

Everyone Deserves Desire

As much as I tend to focus on the importance of safe sex for everyone, I also truly believe that everyone deserves pleasure and desire. Safe sex shouldn't be a barrier to that. It should be a conduit. By taking care of your physical health and the health of your partner, you can protect your emotional health as well.

One of the things that scare people off of practicing safe sex is the intimacy of the communication that's needed. However, it's important to remember that hot sex needs intimate communication as well. The fastest route to a better and more satisfying sex life is being able to talk about what you like, what pleases you, and how you'd like to please your partner. After all, no matter how much you love each other, you can't actually read each other's minds.

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