10 Funny Headache Jokes

Laughter Is Still the Best Medicine

woman laughing
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A headache is no laughing matter, but there is a certain truth to the maxim "laughter is the best medicine." According to a 2012 study from Oxford University, genuine laughter stimulates the production of endorphins in the brain and activates the very same receptors targeted by pain-killing or euphoria-inducing drugs.

While this doesn't suggest you can laugh yourself out a headache or a migraine, it does suggest the importance of keeping your spirits up when faced with persistent or recurrent pain.

Here are some jokes and funny anecdotes that may help:

A Headache in the Garden of Eden

A few days after finishing His creations, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth. So I want you to kiss her."

Adam was confused. "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?"

After a brief description, Adam took Eve by the hand and led her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, he emerged and declared, "Thank you, Lord. That was very enjoyable."

"Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that. And now I'd like you to caress Eve."

Adam asked, "What is a caress?”

So, again, after a brief description, Adam led Eve behind the bush.

When Adam emerged, he shouted, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss!"

The Lord replied, "You've done well, Adam. Now I want you to make love to Eve."

"But what is 'make love,' Lord?"

So, after yet another description, Adam led Eve behind the bush, only to re-emerge a few seconds later.

"Lord," Adam asked, "what is a headache?"

Katt Williams on Why Marijuana Is Safer Than Aspirin

"Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them, it'll be your last headache."

A Headache and Headphones

A blonde goes to the doctor complaining of headaches. Noticing she hasn't taken off her headphones during the exam, he suggests that they may be the cause of her headaches.

"Oh, no!" she gasped. "Without them I would surely die!"

"Oh, come now," the doctor grumbled, tugging them off, "enough of this silliness."

But sure enough, within moments, the woman collapses to the floor, dead. Curious, the doctor picks up the headphones and listens: "Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out..."

A Headache Joke From Billy Connolly

"If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?

A Uniform Reply to a Headache

A police officer working the graveyard shift is relieved of duty early and arrives home at 2:00 a.m., four hours ahead of schedule. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undresses in the dark and creeps quietly into bed.

Rousing, the woman turns to her husband and mutters, "Honey, would you go to the drug store and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."

"Sure, honey," the officer replies, feeling around in the dark for his uniform.

As the officer arrived at the drug store, the pharmacist looked at him, surprised. "Say, aren't you Officer O’Malley with the 8th Precinct?"

"Yes, I am," the officer replies.

"Then what are you doing in the fire chief's uniform?"

Our Real Feelings About Tylenol

"Wow, Tylenol really got rid of that pain," said no one ever.

A Headache Joke From Jack Mayberry

"I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache."

A Unique Cure for a Headache

"I have a bad headache," I declared. "I'd better go to the doctor."

"Don’t do that," my friend replied, "Yesterday I had a headache, so I hurried home and gave my wife a big kiss and my headache disappeared. Why don't you try that?"

"Great idea!" I replied. "Call your wife and tell her I'll be right over."

Chivalry in the Age of Headaches

The escalator was broken, and the only way out of the airport was up a flight of stairs.

Unfortunately, I had a big suitcase, a sore knee, and was wearing a pair of high heels. I began dragging the bag behind me, making a loud thud on every step. Suddenly, the man behind me grabs it by the handle and lugs it to the very top of the stairs.

"My, that was so chivalrous of you" I gushed, thanking him.

"Chivalry's got nothing to do with it," he replied. "I've got a splitting headache."

Migraines and Social Media

"If you're able to twitter about your migraine, you don't know what a migraine is."

Source:

Dunbar, R.; Baron, R.; Frangou, A. et al. "Social laughter is correlated with an elevated pain threshold." Proceed Royal Soc Biol Sci. 2012; 279(1731):1161-7. DOI: 10.1098/rspb.2011.1373.

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