Quotes for Funny Marathon Spectator Signs

Support marathon runners with some humor

Peter Larsen/Getty Images Entertainment

Marathon runners love to read signs along the race course to help break the monotony. If you're planning on watching a marathon, make some signs -– the runners will love you for it. Funny spectator signs are always a good distraction. Here are some ideas:

  • "In our minds, you're all Kenyans."
  • "Your feet hurt because you are kicking so much butt!"
  • "Your legs will forgive you...eventually."
  • "Don't stop -- people are watching."
  • "Worst Parade Ever"
  • "Chafe now...brag forever."
  • "That's not sweat, it's your fat cells crying."
  • "You've got stamina! Call me!"
  • "Hurry up, we're missing brunch"
  • "Pain now...beer later."
  • "If a marathon was easy, it would be called your mother."
  • "I'm sure it seemed like a good idea 4 months ago."
  • "Run like you stole something."
  • "Smile if you're not wearing underwear"
  • "This is a lot of work for a free banana"
  • "Toenails are for sissies."
  • "My legs hurt just waiting for you."
  • "You are beating everyone behind you!"
  • "Run now, poop later"
  • "You're 26.2% crazy for doing this."
  • "Where are you all going?"
  • "Hurry up...beer misses you!"
  • "Punch here for power" (with a bullseye)
  • "You could have chosen chess"
  • "Blisters are Braille for awesome"
  • "You think you're tired? My arms are holding this sign up!"
  • "Try not.  Do or not do.   There is no try." (with a picture of Yoda)
  • "I'm looking at your future profile picture!"
  • "You've done dumber things than this when you were drunk"
  • "I'd rather eat 26.2 pizzas."
  • "You're not slow. You're just enjoying the course."
  • "Stop reading this and keep running!"
  • "Beat Oprah!"

More Funny Marathon Signs ->

  • "Puke and rally!"
  • "Don't worry, toenails are overrated."
  • "Run like someone's chasing you."
  • "Run faster...I just farted."
  • "Sweat is sexy."
  • "If it was easy, I would do it."
  • "You trained longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage!"
  • "May the course be with you!"
  • "Hurray up! People are waiting for you!"
  • "Humpty Dumpty had wall issues, too!"
  • "Hotties and burgers at the finish"
  • "Staying up all night making this sign was hard, too."
  • "Run!  There's a cute guy in front of you and a creepy guy behind you."
  • "Free hugs if you're not wearing underwear"
  • "You are NOT almost there." (seen at mile 1)
  • "Go Random Stranger, Go!"
  • "I thought this was a 'Law and Order' Marathon!"
  • "Because 26.3 would be crazy"
  • "There is no app for this, keep running."
  • "The end is near." (Sign held by man dressed as the Grim Reaper at mile 21 of the 2010 Marine Corps Marathon, which was on Halloween)
  • "Whine now, wine later"

More Funny Marathon Signs ->

  • "This is easier than labor and delivery."
  • "Chafe now, wine later."
  • "You think running a marathon is hard, try waiting on you to finish!"
  • "Why do the cute ones always run away?!"
  • "No one made you do this!"
  • "If you really loved me, you'd run faster!"
  • "Black toenails are sexy"
  • "Smile, you're still faster than all the people behind you"
  • "Don't F@#& It Up!"
  • "Your shoelaces are untied!"
  • "Ice baths and cookies at the finish!"
  • "Run as if a hand just reached out of the ground and grabbed your ankle!"
  • "Take a cab. It's faster!"
  • "Run like you're chasing squirrels!" (with a photo of a dog)
  • "Run Forrest Run!"
  • "No one made you do this!"
  • "This parade is going too fast...where are the floats?"
  • "Hey marathoners, hurry up! The half marathoners are eating all the food!”

More Funny Marathon Signs ->

  • "You're almost there! (That's what SHE said!)"
  • "You're going the wrong way!"
  • "Only 26.1 miles to go!"
  • "Smile if you're not wearing underwear!"
  • "Run!! Zombies are chasing you!"
  • "Run like someone just called you a jogger."
  • "5 to 1 you hurl before this is over"
  • Smile if you peed a little"
  • "I'm just trying to cross the street!"
  • "May the course be with you" (with a picture of Yoda)
  • "High Fives $5"
  • "Think this is hard? Try growing out bangs!"
  • "Hey Stranger, I'm cheering for you!"
  • "Take the subway...it's faster!"
  • "Run like your iPhone is at 1%!"
  • "Mortuary ahead....look alive!"
  • "Run easy. You're not going to win!"
  • "If I ran it, by God, you can, too."
  • "Chuck Norris never ran a marathon."
  • "$100 bills at finish!
    Just kidding...keep running!"
  • "It'll feel better when it stops hurting."
  • "Hurry, they're running out of food at the finish line."
  • "All toenails go to heaven"
  • "Smile!  Remember you paid to do this!"
  • "I thought it said 2.62 miles"
  • "This marathon would be fun if it weren't for the running"


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