9 Habits of Parents With Kids Who Thrive In School

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 Parents with kids who are successful in school have habits that lead to their children's success.  These habits are what help children do well in school, no matter how much education or money the parents have.  These habits go beyond parents being involved in school.  They are what make a parent effective.  They create an atmosphere where children succeed.  Learn what these habits are so you can lead your child to thrive in school.

1.  They Create a Learning Rich Environment

Children who are read to learn a lot about reading long before they learn to read.  Children learn everything from which direction words are read to pronunciation and context from being read to.  Even children with second and third-grade reading levels benefit from having books slightly beyond their reading level read to them.

Talking with your child or teen regularly provides further language skills.  It also gives you child an emotional connection with you.  You can share your wisdom and experience with your child.  You get to see into their world when you talk with them.  Regular conversation with you teaches them valuable conversation skills, including how to relate to people outside of their own age group.

Effective parents also build early math and science skills in their children. Doing activities with their children that require math skills, like baking, help children to feel confident and enhance learning.

2. They Have High Expectations

Parents who expect that their children will succeed in school make sure that school success happens.  For these parents, it is simply not even an option that their children will do homework.  The only questions are how and when.  This also goes for school attendance, studying and other elements of working for success in school.

3. They Work At Their Relationship With Their Kids

Face it - sometimes our children are difficult to manage. Still, successful parents will work to keep the parent-child relationship strong. 

This has several benefits. Children and teens will feel more comfortable and safe with a parent that they know they can talk openly to. Regular and healthy ocmmunication allows parents to see into their child's world, so that parents will be able to identify even faster when a problem arises. These paretns can also offer praise and bolster self-esteem of their children who are working hard at school and in their lives.

4. They Continue To Learn And Adapt Their Parenting Skills

Effective parents find new ways to handle new problems that arise.  When something isn't working at home, these parents look for solutions and support.  They find the reasons for their child struggles in school and take steps to help their child overcome them.

5. They Let Their Children Be Responsible

Effective parents know that they are raising children, not living their child's lives for them.

 They encourage children to use their own reasoning to make their own decisions.  They step in only when necessary to keep their children safe, or to provide guidance when a child doesn't know what to do.

Effective parents let their children do their own homework.  These parents do not do their children's work or solve their child's problems for them.  Instead, they provide guidance so their children gain experience and confidence.

6. They Have A Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is one that is focused on how we work hard and create change in our lives and in ourselves rather than believing that some people are just naturally talented or smart. Effective parents share these beliefs with their children, which encourages their chidlren to succeed.

7. Their Discipline Style Is Effective

Effective parents are authoritative parents.  Their rules are clear and children know what to expect. These parents are not overly strict and so rigid that their children are afraid to do anything or they rebel against every rule.  Effective parents also avoid being too permissive, avoiding clear rules that lack safe boundaries for children.

8. They Build Communities of Support

Everyone needs people around them.  People for friendship, for support, for learning from.  Effective parents build communities for themselves and for their children.  They connect with other parents.  They have good communication with their children's teachers.  They get to know neighbors, coaches, fellow church members and other people in their community.

9. They Take Care of Their Own Needs

If you are sick or broke or depressed, you can't help others.  Even with less extreme problems, like parents who are not feeling successful and in control of their lives, are not as effective.

Effective parents know that the antidote is taking care of themselves first so they are able to care for others. They set examples by overcoming problems and achieving new goals.  Their children learn how to deal with the challenges of life by watching their parents.  It also shows children that families need to adopt the best strategy for their own family, not necessarily what everyone else says is right.

For example, families that feel stressed out by not having enough money when a parent stays home with the children may actually be better off if that parent were to return to work. The stress and resentment from financially struggling would take away from quality family time rather than having a working parent who enjoys the time they do have with their children.

Overall, parents with children who thrive in school find ways to thrive themselves. In turn, these parents role model and directly teach their children how to succeed.

 

Milkie, M. A., Nomaguchi, K. M. and Denny, K. E. (2015), Does the Amount of Time Mothers Spend With Children or Adolescents Matter?. Journal of Marriage and Family, 77: 355–372. doi: 10.1111/jomf.12170

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