<p>If you find yourself getting hot under the collar, take a page from Buddhist teachings and take a long view of your conflict with your child. It can be hard to do in the heat of the moment, but remind yourself that you will work it out and try not to respond with anger and hurt. You may want to actually walk away or take a few minutes to calm down before you talk to your child.</p><p>While you are collecting your cool, think about something that makes you happy. Taking a walk? Lunch with a friend? Give yourself something to look forward to in the near future that’s just for you.</p><p>Some bothersome behavior, such as defiance or backtalk, are a normal part of child development. Remind yourself that your relationship with your child is strong and loving, and can be made stronger when you work on solving problems together.</p><p>Just because you calm down, it doesn’t mean your child will re-set herself at the same time. She may continue to be angry or unpleasant. But by talking to your child in a nice way -- while reminding her to also speak to you respectfully -- you set the tone and lead her down the path you want her to follow.</p><p>Have there been any significant changes in your home recently? Could something be bothering her at school, such as a bully or problems doing schoolwork? When your child is ready to talk, try to get to the root of her behavior.</p><p>Being Zen doesn’t mean letting your child walk all over you. Whether it’s time-outs or taking away privileges, make sure you follow through with punishments. Children need to know that they can’t push beyond the limits you set and get away with it -- otherwise, they’ll push the boundaries further the next time.</p><p>I always make sure I tell my son that I love him, even when I ask him for better behavior or explain why I’m unhappy with something he did. Yes, I sometimes get the &#34;Well, I don’t love you!&#34; retort, but that’s par for the course. By staying steady, I guide my child toward understanding that family members can have conflict or disagree, but should never forget how much they love each other.</p>Whether it’s yoga or kickboxing, do something that relieves stress so that you are better able to handle bad behavior -- or any other challenge -- the next time it comes up.