How to Parent a Boy Crazy Tween

If your tween is becoming boy crazy, here's what you need to do

Be patient, the boy crazy phase probably won't last forever.
Set ground rules and consequences for your boy crazy tween. Photo: mcjudwick,

Your little girl is growing up and that might mean that she has suddenly developed an interest in boys. But if your tween's interest has turned into boy crazy obsession, you might feel unsure about how to parent and guide your child during this transition. Below are a few tips that might help you, and your daughter, through this very typical tween phase. 

Tips on Parenting Boy Crazy Tween Girls

Listen and Pay Attention: If your daughter is talking about boys all the time, texting them, and showing more interest in her appearance, blame puberty.

While you don't want to be an overbearing parent, you do want to be aware of what is going on, and make sure that it's age appropriate. Listen to your daughter and pay attention to her behavior when she's around her friends and when she's around boys. You might also gather information from other parents, or older siblings, who may be more in the loop and have more information than you. 

Give Her a Little Space: Growing up and going through puberty is hard. Be sure you do allow your tween a little space -- so that she doesn't feel as though the changes she is going through are bad or inappropriate. You don't want to give your tween complete control, but a little privacy is perfectly OK. Also, refrain from teasing her about her boyfriends or any crush that she might have. 

Find Distractions: Be sure your daughter has distractions and is involved in activities that engage her mind and allow her to continue to grow, learn and develop as a young adult.

Sports, clubs and other group activities are a good way to keep her busy, keep her engaged, and develop interests that don't involve the opposite sex. Continue with any family traditions that you've established and encourage your tween to continue to spend time with her friends.

Establish Rules: You want your daughter to grow up, you just don't want her to grow up too soon.

Be sure you establish clear rules about boys and dating, so that your daughter knows them upfront. If you don't allow dating until a certain age, say so. If you do, be sure your daughter knows that dating will happen under your watchful eye. You may decide that the only dating you'll allow is at your house and with you or another adult present. 

Be Patient: Be patient with  your daughter and know that this phase of development is probably temporary. While her interest in boys isn't likely to go away, she will probably find other interests and establish goals for herself throughout her tween and teen years. Be sure you offer her a safe place at home to be herself and to escape from the social pressures she might be experiencing at school. 

Ask Questions: If your daughter doesn't offer up much information be sure to ask questions so that you know what is going on. If your daughter is sensitive, you'll have to careful about how you present your questions. As always, you know your child better than anyone else, and you'll know how to guide her through this and the many other phases of puberty and adolescence.


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