Not Wanting Sex in Pregnancy?

What You Need to Know About Your Sex Drive During Pregnancy

Man touching pregnant woman's stomach
Getty Images/altrendo images

Many women hear that the libido or sex drive of a pregnant woman is increased, this is not always true. Many women comment that they find they are not wanting sex in pregnancy, a decrease in the libido, or desire for sex. It can also lead to some women feeling guilty when they find that they don't really want sex while pregnant.

Is Sex Safe in Pregnancy?

For the vast majority of women, it is safe to have sex in pregnancy.

Sex feels good and is a healthy expression of love and affection between you and your partner. There are a very few exceptions to when you shouldn't have sex while pregnant and there are a few women put on pelvic rest. This would be covered by your doctor or midwife at your prenatal visits. Sometimes it's a short period of time you need to not have sex, sometimes it's the whole pregnancy. Speak up and get the details. They certainly aren't embarrassed to talk about sex, and neither should you be.

Is It Normal to Not Want Sex During Pregnancy?

It can be perfectly normal to not want sex in pregnancy. Your libido in pregnancy can vary widely, typically this is by trimester. For example in your first trimester, you may worry about your pregnancy or baby. You might have severe fatigue or even experience morning sickness, that makes you feel like sex is the last thing on your mind. Your breasts may be sensitive, causing either increased pleasure or pain.

The first trimester is when your breasts undergo the most changes in terms of sensitivity and even size increases.Threatened miscarriage may limit the amount of intercourse or orgasms you may have.

Second Trimester May Be Different

More women find the second trimester to be an active time for sex, but you may still have concerns or just be accepting your  as it changes.

The vagina is more lubricated and the clitoris and vagina are more engorged. Many women will become orgasmic or multi-orgasmic for the first time during pregnancy because of this added engorgement.

In the third trimester you may also be tired and feel like your changing body makes it difficult to have sex at the end of pregnancy, though sex is fine up until labor or when your water is broken. You may find that you enjoy sex more, even if you are having it less frequently. Remember, that there are things that you can do other than sexual intercourse.

Ways to Cope With Decreased Sex Drive During Pregnancy

The key to coping with your lack of desire for sex is to talk to your partner about how you are feeling. Ensure them that this is temporary and that you're feeling tired, sick or just blah. Sometimes opening up can give you a chance to find some alternatives to sex. For example, perhaps snuggling or kissing is a good alternative for you and your partner. Maybe you can even trade back rubs or just spend some quality time together. Maybe you want to have sex but avoid orgasms, or skip the sex and have only mutual orgasms. Keep these lines of communication open. Your desire levels for sex in pregnancy can fluctuate as can your partners levels.

By talking about it you can prevent hurt feelings.

More About Sex, Libido and Pregnancy

Continue Reading