17yo Teen Son Using Profanity and Disrespect to Parents

A mom asks for advice: What do you do when your 17-year-old uses profanity like f-you, when he gets upset about something during a conversation on a very sensitive subject. We decided to ground him for the weekend, but he left the house anyway and then was 30 minutes late on his curfew. He is not able to drive after midnight and he came home at 12:30 am. We tried to have a conversation with him but he brings up other issues he is upset with us about like the fact we did not let him do his favorite sport this year because of his grades and our financial situation.

During the conversation, he gets very upset storms out and uses another choice word. Any advice? The grounding doesn't seem to work. And we feel he still should be held accountable.

Denise's thoughts: He seems to know how to get what he wants. He didn't get to do something(play a sport) because he didn't earn it(poor grades). His choices. In order to deal with his defiance, you'll need to drop the guilt he is piling on you.

I would start by taking the keys. He can have them back when he has decided to treat you respectfully for five full days. That means coming home on time, not swearing at you, etc. Tell him today can be day one, or he can start tomorrow. Tell him, and mean it, that you are sure he is capable of handling this restriction like a young adult and that you hope he is able to get back his keys as soon as possible. Then allow him to make his choices.

Asking our community of parents: This is really standard teen behavior, right?

I know that my daughter has pulled out one or two of these instances and I feel she is a pretty well-adjusted teen. While we can't control our teens, we can control what we give them. 


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