Mom Sacrifices Baby For Her Dream House

dream home
Hill Street Studios/Getty Images

It's no secret that parents sacrifice a lot for their families. But it may come as a surprise to some to hear one mom's willingness to share how she and her husband have sacrificed a member of their family for what she calls "the American Dream."

Of course, I should make it clear that this wasn't a literal family member, but a potential one. In her essay for Elle Decor, writer Sarah Scott detailed how she and her husband have struggled with the decision to become a family of four--at a price.

In the article, Scott describes how she and her husband have made "carefully premeditated financial choices" in order to purchase and build their "luxury dream home." She explains that they paid for their house entirely on their own, without gifts from their parents or handouts. The secret to saving, she shared, came from:

  • Eating canned food for an entire year
  • Buying consignment instead of retail
  • Budgeting for large expenses, such as a ride-on lawnmower, a generator, gardening supplies, and a fenced-in yard for the dogs
  • Saving money with Scott as a stay-at-home mother
  • Vacationing (only) once a year in their purchased timeshare

But the biggest sacrifice of all, according to her? "After talking it over, and trying to adjust the budget, we have come to the conclusion that the decision to buy our dream home last year has eliminated the possibility of having any more children."

Despite the fact that Scott describes how her uterus "literally aches" to hold another child, she maintains that the couple's budget simply won't allow it.

Many readers and commenters have expressed anger at the essay, especially those coming from a place where no amount of "meticulous planning" can allow a single parent to stay home, or grief from those struggling with infertility. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we don't always have a choice in the size of our family, which is what Scott is apparently forgetting in her equation.

Not to mention the fact that many readers felt that the "sacrifice" she was referring to was paltry in comparison to the hardships experienced by a great majority of the world.

"This is embarrassing!! There are children starving without clean drinking water in other countries and in our own! and you are talking about not being able to afford your dream house and timeshare if you have another child?! All children need is someone to love them and take care of them," wrote one commenter. 

In my opinion, I think that this lady has the right to write about whatever she wants, have as many children as she wants, and live wherever she wants. I don't think it's our right to judge her life choices, because of course, they are hers. However, this line: "I have begun to resent the dream house and our decision to buy it," did cause me some discomfort in reading it, because I do think that it's extremely dangerous to try to put a price on having a baby.

You just can't swap out a baby for a line in your budget, because life doesn't work that way. Not once have I had a baby and thought, Well, there goes our next vacation! 

I think that every family has the right to decide what's best for them and if this couple only wants two children, then good for them.

But to deny yourself the gift of family and tell the whole world that you long for another child but can't "budget" for it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. This is a family who could afford another child, if such an idea exists, so I feel like they definitely need to make sure it's what they both want before regretting such a big decision later in life.

What do you think? What sacrifices have you made for your family? Would you choose a home over a child? 

Continue Reading