What New Year's Resolution Do You Wish Your Kids Will Keep?

Parents share their wish lists for their kids New Year's Resolutions

kid new year's resolution

Once you enter the land of adulthood New Year's Resolutions are pretty generic: eat healthy, go to the gym, yell at your kids less, spend more time with family. Most resolutions are pretty boring for adults, especially parents. This year, instead of asking parents about their own New Year's Resolutions, I asked the funniest parents in the blogosphere to share what New Year's Resolutions they wish their kids would make and keep for 2016.

  • I would love for my 9 and 10-year-old kids to take this one on: I will work on cleanliness in 2016. This shall include (but not be limited to)....keeping my nails clean, brushing my teeth, showering more than once a week and putting my clothes in the hamper. That last one isn't really about cleanliness, but would really help my mother out. (Suburban Sh*t Show: Tales from the Tree-Lined Trenches)
  • In the name of all that is holy and good stay in your own damn beds at night. At least five nights a week. I'll negotiate down to three.  (Is It Bedtime Yet? - Stories From a Mom Who Never Wanted the Job)
  • How about trying to go to the bathroom whenever anyone suggests going, instead of saying you don't have to and then peeing your pants 10 minutes later? (The Joy of Cooking (for Little Assholes)
  • I would like for my kids to eliminate the word "why" from their vocabulary. (Stay Home Mama)
  • Oh many! Getting up in the morning and be on time in school. For my 12-year-old, clothes do not belong on the floor. For my 7-year-old: junk food is not supper! (Orthodox Sunflower)
  • How about: Let's keep our penises to ourselves? (Out Manned Mommy)
  • If they could resolve to use tissues when picking the s*** out of their noses that'd be great. Oh, AND not wiping their boogers on the walls next to their beds. (MissGuided Mama
  • (1) Put. The. Fucking. Dishes. In. The. Dishwasher. (2) Flush. The. Toilet. (3) Don't. Clog. The Toilet. (Jenny Kanevsky)
  • Please, for the love of God, CHILL OUT. I'm begging you. Even just for like five minutes? Please?! *breaks down into tears* (Dad and Buried)
  • How about if they made a resolution to take me seriously when I say "If you can't say anything nice (to your sisters) then don't say anything at all!!! Stop the bickering! (The Golden Spoons)
  •  Keep the bath water in the f-ing bathtub! (Mom Cave TV)
  • How about getting them to not want to be on the iPad all day?!! (Confessions of a Mommyaholic)
  • To get the poop at least 75% in the potty! (Jill Ceder)
  • Screw the Golden Rule which can involve running up to another child, yanking on his penis, and dissolving into hysterical laughter. How about, "Do unto others as Mommy wants done unto them."  (Joie de Kids)
  • Feel excitement without becoming some sort of global-warming-fueled destructive force of nature. I swear, my kids are like happiness Hulks: the minute they truly start having fun, they transform into tornados, flash floods, and tsunamis. (Joie de Kids)
  • You will not gag every timeyou try a new or previously disliked vegetable. (Evil Joy Speaks).
  • I would like my toddler to resolve to stopping beating his 5-year-old sister over the head with whatever long, stick-like objects he can get his hands on. I would like my 5 year old to resolve to ALWAYS put her dishes in the dishwasher rather than precariously perched on the edge of the counter (regularly flushing the toilet would be nice, too). I would like my 7 year old to resolve to stop being so overdramatic and concerned about things that really don't matter. I would like my 3 month old to resolve to stop pooing immediately after I finish the diaper laundry. (Beyond Mommying)
  • Be a leader & focus on your own behavior. Do NOT say "She started it!" (The 21st Century SAHM
  • I would like my 9-year-old to undergo surgery to have the iPad removed from his hands. (Science of Parenthood)
  • I will wipe my own ass. (A mom can dream, can't she?) (Why All These Kids Anyway)
  • I would literally give anything if my 4-year-old would make it her 2016 mission to stop calling everyone in the family an asshole. (Put Your Booger In My Pocket)
  • If my kids would hold themselves to the same high standards they expect of their siblings there would be peace on earth. Or at least in my family room. (Magnificence In The Mundane)
  • To play outside more and on the iPad less. (MomCo)

Other resolutions for kids by parents included: stop fighting with siblings, less whining, eat more veggies, no hitting and pinching, no poking your sibling's eyes. and no more throwing yourself on the floor. 

What would your ideal resolution be for your kids this year?

Happy New Year!

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