Peaceful Parenting

How can I integrate this parenting method into my child's life

Peaceful parenting
Being a peaceful parent means that you emphasize guiding a child to make a good decision, rather than reflect on punishments and discipline. Kraig Scarbinsky

Peaceful parenting (or being a peaceful parent), is a method of parenting that emphasizes guiding a child to make a good decision. Parenting using this method often focuses on the parent or caregiver being very aware of their own behaviors and how those behaviors in turn affect how a child behaves and reacts to situations. Peaceful parents also put a lot of emphasis on the root of why a child is behaving in a certain way, as opposed to the behavior or action itself.

Parents focus on meeting the needs of the child and teaching the child the skills and behaviors needed in life to deal with a variety of situations. Parents also feel that letting the child know at all times that he or she is loved and respected unconditionally is of paramount importance. 

Hallmarks of peaceful parenting include:

  • making sure the child feels safe at all times in terms of expressing any emotions they may be feeling
  • using problem-solving skills to work through any issues that would normally require discipline or punishment 
  • empowering children to make good decisions
  • having both parents and children using "I" statements in order to convey how they feel
  • setting limits while understanding why these limits may upset a child
  • working together to problem solve and set limits to create family guidelines that everyone can follow
  • parents "role modeling" positive behaviors
  • getting to the root of why a child behaves a certain way rather than focusing on or punishing a specific behavior

    When a child makes a mistake or does something that angers the parent, instead of punishment or yelling, a peaceful parent instead tries to figure out what exactly caused the child to behave that way, then problem solves with the child to come up with a resolution.

    For example, if a child is sitting at the dinner table eating with the family, and deliberately pours their glass of milk on to the floor (not an accident), a parent who follows a peaceful parenting philosophy would talk to the child about why they behaved in such a matter, rather than automatically move to put some form of discipline into action.

    A peaceful parent may ask or wonder: Does the child not like the milk? Is the milk sour? Is the child looking to find out what would happen if they poured the milk out? Then, once the parent gets to the root of why the child poured the milk on to the floor, together they would problem solve to come up with a solution. Perhaps the child and the parent could clean up the milk together. Additionally, the parent may want to talk to the child about the importance of not wasting food, and they may even want to look into kitchen science experiments (using water!) that explores how water moves and behaves in various scenarios. 

    According to the peaceful parenting philosophy, by creating an environment where a child feels safe to make their own choices without the fear of punishment, the family unit functions better because there is a base of mutual respect and open communication. Through setting limits, role modeling, and mutual problem solving, the family functions together in a peaceful and harmonious environment.

    It is important to remember however, that peaceful parenting does not mean no consequences. While punishment are generally not used, there are boundaries and limits set, with clear communication between parents and child. 

    For more information on this philosophy and its tenets, visit The Peaceful Parenting Institute

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