7 Predictors Your Child Has the Grit to Overcome Bullying

How to know if your child has what it takes to cope with bullying

thoughtful young girl in sunlight

Grit is a rare but important trait. In fact, kids with grit have the ability to persevere despite the challenges and obstacles they face. Basically, grit is that inner voice that tells them to keep trying even when the odds are against them.

Grit is especially important when it comes to overcoming bullying. In fact, kids with grit usually have a great deal of resilience and self-esteem. Here are seven predictors that your child has grit and if channeled properly will have an easier time overcoming bullying.

1. They are kind to people who have been mean to them.

Perhaps the biggest measure of grit in a child is when they are able to treat rude and mean people with kindness. When people treat your child poorly, it's tempting to stoop to their level and get revenge. While kids with grit do not allow others to walk all over them, they also are not impolite to them either. Instead, they treat cruel people with the same kindness they extend to anyone else, because they won't allow another person's negativity to bring them down.

2. They defend themselves even if they already feel crushed.

Being able to stand up to a bully, is an essential part of overcoming bullying. In fact, kids who defend themselves against a bully will be bullied less in the long run than those who say nothing. What’s more, developing the assertiveness to say “no more” to a bully is an essential life skill. Kids with grit instinctively know that when they face an obstacle in life they can either overcome it and learn in the process or they can let it defeat them.

3. They can manage their emotions.

Negative emotions challenge your child’s ability to deal with bullying. However, if your child has a positive attitude despite the bullying and can actively reframe her thinking, she has grit. While it's impossible not to feel emotions, it's completely within your child’s power to manage them effectively and to remain in control.

4. They trust their gut.

If your child instinctively knows how to handle a bullying situation even when choices are not clear-cut, your child has grit. Trusting her gut is a matter of looking at her options from every possible angle and believing in her ability to make the right choice.

5. They deal with bullying, gossip or cyberbullying without even flinching.

Your child has grit, if she puts very little time and energy into worrying about what other people are saying about her. In fact, she really does not care what other people think and has a strong sense of self. Gritty kids do not need the approval of others. 

6. They are willing to stand for what they believe in.

It’s easy to do the right thing when everyone is in agreement, but when no one is supporting your child it takes a lot of grit to go ahead and make good choices. Kids with grit believe in themselves no matter what and they stay the course even when no one else follows. Whether your child is being bullied or is a bystander to bullying, if she has grit she will not falter in her beliefs and has the strength to do the right thing. Peer pressure is usually not a factor when kids have grit.

7. They accept responsibility for their actions.

Kids with grit take responsibility for their actions, which is not always an easy task. Owning choices takes a lot of strength, especially poor choices. What’s more, kids with grit are less likely to blame other people for how they feel. In other words, they own their feelings and do not stay trapped in victim thinking. Even though a victim of bullying is never responsible for a bully’s choice, they are responsible for their reaction and kids with grit instinctively get that. More often than not, they have a positive outlook on life despite how others are treating them.

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