10 Reasons Nannies Quit

Learn how to keep your nanny

unhappy nanny

There are many reasons why a nanny chooses to terminate a relationship with their employers. If you are aware of the reasons, it may be easier to avoid them and help lengthen and strengthen your relationship with your nanny, which is important for your child's growth and well-being, not only because you're setting a good example of strong relationships but also because your child may already have a profound connection with your nanny.

Lack of Communication

Communication is one of the most important aspects of a nanny-parent relationship. You may love you nanny because she is a people pleaser, non-confrontational and a peace keeper with your children, but these characteristics may be problematic in terms of communication issues

A nanny-parent relationship involves people with different backgrounds coming together with a shared goal of successfully raising children. Disappointment and resentment are likely to happen if there isn't constant and open communication. Before your relationship begins, discuss with your prospective nanny how important communication is to you and when her work with you begins, make sure give your nanny a safe space to share her feelings. Besides a daily check-in on your way in and out which are usually about the kid's day and schedule, it is good to set aside a longer time once a month or every so often to discuss how work is going for her.

Change of Job Responsibilities

Nanny's are hired to do specific tasks, take care of a specific number of children. If you begin to ask your nanny to do extra tasks, even small ones, without discussing it or compensating her, things may eventually turn in a bad direction. A nanny shouldn't have to clean your kitchen in order to make breakfast for your kids.

If her contract says she will do the children's laundry, this does not give parents a pass to ask her to do your laundry. Do not change her job responsibilities unexpectedly and assume she is okay with it.

Growing Schedules

The nanny is hired to work set days and hours. If you are going to continuously change your schedule, communicate with your nanny and see if this works for her. She has a life outside of watching your children so ask her what works for her. Schedules do change as children get older but parents shouldn't assume the nanny will be happy to accommodate all changes. Ask your nanny how she feels these new changes will impact her. If not, some sort of compromise may need to take place, or unfortunately you may end up parting ways. 

Lack of Appreciation

Nannies spend all day caring for children, which as we all know, is not an easy task! In our busy lives and rushed schedules, parents often forget to thank their nannies for all they do for our families. Appreciation goes a long way.

Take the time to appreciate your nanny on a regular basis. Extra special appreciation is meaningful on their birthday, over the holidays or during National Nanny Recognition Week. A gift for your nanny doesn't have to be expensive. A small token of your appreciation and a thoughtful hand-made card from your child goes a long way to show how much you appreciate all your nanny does for you.

Micro-Managing Parents

Hiring someone to help you raise your child can get complicated because as the parent, you know your child best and want to make all decisions, big or small. However, hiring a nanny means you are entering into a partnership. Adding another person to the childcare mix means more opinions and as a nanny who has worked with other children, her opinion is probably worth discussing. Second-guessing or questioning every decision your nanny makes will create a bad situation. Giving your nanny freedom and learning to accept minor differences will really help your nanny to respect you. If there are areas that are very important to you, then choose those are your sticking points and let her know their importance. 

Feeling Isolated

Taking care of children all day long can be an isolating job. Parents should encourage activities that allow nannies to establish social circles and gain new experiences like taking the kids for a walk at the local park, going to the playground or the local library and joining playgroups. Nannies look forward to taking a walk with the baby on a nice day, meeting up with friends and enjoying the interaction. If you are a family who is asking your nanny to stay home all day, either for fear of your baby being in a car with someone else or another reason, rethink this decision. You want your nanny to be happy during the day and not feel trapped in your home.

Different Childcare Philosophies

Parenting philosophies are very important to think about when hiring a nanny. When you are interviewing, ask the potential nannies their opinions about discipline and sleep training. It might be refreshing or enlightening, especially as a new parent, to work with a nanny with different philosophies, but it could also cause big problems. Consistency is childcare is important for proper child development.

Family Dysfunction

Nannies have a front row seat to everything that goes on inside your home, so if you and your are constantly fighting or you let your older child bite and hit your younger repeatedly without age-appropriate discipline. a nanny might choose to leave the family. More serious situations such as alcohol abuse, physical abuse or emotional instability are huge red flags for nannies to look elsewhere.

Wage & Tax Issues

Tax issues can get complicated so make sure you have a signed contract by both parties before hiring. Take the time to discuss wages and tax issues during the interview and memorialize this in your Nanny Contract. Consider giving the nanny a breakdown of the tax deductions from her paycheck with her first payment, and any time there is a change to her compensation. Consult a nanny tax specialist for assistance.

A Better Situation

You may hire a nanny who agrees to your terms only to get a better offer down the line. As harsh as this sounds, it happens. Either party can terminate the contract so keep in mind that a good nanny is hard to find so keep yours happy! If you can only provide part-time and your nanny finds a family who offers her full-time, assume she will leave. Further, if a nanny finds a family who will pay her more money for less responsibilities (one child versus your two or no laundry duties, etc), she may reconsider working for you. If your nanny is offered a better deal, she may choose to leave.

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