Taking a Close Look at Why I Smoked

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From guest author, Zzyzx:

In order to fight against something, you have to understand it. You just cannot help yourself overcome a thing like nicotine addiction without finding out all that you can. Without knowledge, your efforts can go astray and attack symptoms, not the cause.

I get a lot of information about smoking cessation from various web sites and support groups. Every day of this quit, I have read something new about the subject of smoking and strategies for quitting.

The saying may be old, but it is true - knowledge is power.

As is true in most everything in life, the process to learn more about nicotine addiction and how to eliminate it has unexpected consequences. Aside from the information that I consume and process, I have developed a real habit of critical thinking.

For the last five and a half months, I have been looking at my behavior and attitudes very closely, with the purpose of weeding out the counterproductive. I look at both what I do, and why I do it, with the intent of finding out the real nature of what and why.

As for smoking, I know a lot more now of what it really is. My way of thinking about it used to be that it is a pleasant activity, one that I enjoy, and it is just a matter of choice. After my numerous quits, failures, long delays at re-quitting, and now this last quit, I really understand what smoking is. It is bondage. I lived to serve the addiction.

There are many reasons why I would smoke. I have smoked because I needed the nicotine. Also, because it was just time to smoke, even if I didn't really need one. I smoked to socialize, and to get a break from working. And I used smoking to mask my negative feelings.

I think that's one reason smoking is so hard to quit.

It is a multipurpose, self-administered medication that provides an artificial sense of well-being. Now, you might think that this is pretty much a no-brainer, and you would be right. But seeing it put into words focuses attention on what it really means.

My attitude now is, smoking is the end result of a whole system of lies. Some are external, like the old advertising campaigns and the product placement strategies of the tobacco pushers. Other lies come from the junkie within, who needs to feed the addiction, and will say anything to get what he wants.

It is within our power to see the truth, if we really look. I will continue to learn all I can about the irrational and self-destructive addiction to smoking. The more I learn, the more power I have. More power to quit.

More from Zzyzx:

Real Power
It's All About Attitude
The Balance Between Withdrawal and Healing

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