How to Talk to Your Teen Daughter

Tips to Keep the Lines of Communication Open

An open line of communication is key to a healthy relationship with your teen daughter.
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Keeping the lines of communication open between you and your teen daughter may seem like an insurmountable parenting goal at times. But don't give up.

Even if she's not very talkative, or she seems annoyed by your attempts to strive up conversation, keep trying. An open line of communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship.  

Check-In With Your Daughter Daily 

If your daughter is typically stressed out when she walks through the door, or she's grumpy first thing in the morning, don't try to strike up a conversation at those times.

Wait until she's in a good mood before you check-in with her.

Keep the conversation upbeat. Avoid nagging her about her chores or hassling her about her homework. You'll need to have several positive conversations per day to make all those other kinds of conversations effective. 

Use all Forms of Communication

Talking face-to-face can be a bit hard for teens sometimes. So consider using a variety of forms of conversation.

Talk on social media or via text message. Or, use a journal to write back and forth every day. And you can still write a note and stick it in her lunch every once in a while too. 

Be Proactive

It can be tempting to say things like, "Well, let me know if you want to talk." But sometimes, you need to be proactive. Say things like, "I notice you are quieter than usual. I am wondering if something might be wrong." Respect her wishes and back off when she insists, but make it clear that you want to talk when she's ready.


Use Active Listening Skills

Sometimes, teen girls just need someone to listen to them. So rather than jump in to solve the problem when expresses an issue, simply show her that you're listening. Repeat back what you heard and validate her feelings

Be Sensitive to What She Thinks Is Important 

Math tests, the cute boy in class and the fact that everyone has a new pair of sneakers except her are topics that may be inconsequential to you, but very important to her.

The more you pay attention to her when she talking about these things, the more apt she will be to talk to you about more important things. 

Don't Judge Her Opinions

Teen girls are developing their social and emotional identities. While they are doing this, they will form opinions about things happening around them that may seem outlandish.

When your daughter chooses to share things that going on in her life, or how she feels about various issues, take it a good sign. Avoid arguing with her or telling her she's wrong, even if you disagree.

Ask questions to solicit her ideas and her opinions. Show her that you respect her opinion and show a genuine interest in learning more about how she forms her opinions. 

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