The Most Effective Consequences for Teenagers

Consequences that will motivate your teen to behave next time.

These consequences will motivate your teen to think twice about breaking the rules again.
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Disciplining teenagers is a different ballgame compared to disciplining younger kids. After they become too old for time-out, many parents struggle to find effective ways to discipline older teens.

Once they’re teenagers you only have a few more years to make sure they’re prepared for the real world. At this age, balancing your child’s freedom with guidance can seem tricky at times.

Behave like an overprotective helicopter parent and your child won’t learn how to make healthy decisions.

However, if you’re too permissive, he won’t gain the skills he needs during this critical time.

Discipline Should Focus on Teaching, Not Punishing

Don't reserve discipline for misbehavior. Instead, consider discipline a strategy that will teach your teen the skills he needs to become a responsible adult.

If your 16-year-old prefers to sit in his room and play video games by himself, he may not be misbehaving--but he still needs discipline. He may need to learn how to find new activities, develop friendships and perform chores.

These three consequences can be effective teaching tools that will prevent teens from misbehaving again:

1. Natural Consequences

Natural consequences are one of the most effective ways to discipline teenagers - as long as it is safe to use them. For example, don’t allow your teen to experiment with alcohol in hopes that he’ll get sick and it will teach him a lesson. It may not work out the way you’d planned.

If however, you teen procrastinates doing his homework, getting a zero or staying after school may teach him a lesson. So rather than nag him to get his work done, give him a chance to either behave responsibly or face the consequences.

Natural consequences don't work with all teens however. So it's important to think carefully about whether your teen will learn from his mistakes if you don't intervene.

2. Loss of Privileges

Privileges should be earned, and if your teen isn't following the rules, he shouldn't have his privileges. Use a logical consequence that is directly related to his rule violation. If he comes home after curfew on Friday night, don’t let him go out with friends on Saturday night.

At other times, you may need to remove his favorite privilege. If he's not getting his homework done because he's playing video games, take away his electronics. Usually, taking away privileges for 24 hour  is effective.

Consequences have to hurt, however. If you take away your child’s ability to watch TV but he spends the evening watching Netflix on his laptop, it isn’t likely to be an effective consequence. Choose a privilege that will help your teen think twice before making the same mistake again.

You can also have your teen earn his privileges back. Just make sure you outline what he needs to do to get his privileges back. Instead of saying, "You can have your phone back when I can trust you again," say, "You can have your phone back when you get your homework done three nights in a row." 

Create a written behavior contract that outlines your expectations. Then, there won't be any questions about when and how your teen can regain his privileges.

3. Restitution

There are times when it is important to have your teen pay restitution. If he vandalizes the neighbor’s fence, don’t simply take away his phone for the day. Make him pay to repair the fence and in addition, make him do extra chores for the neighbor.

Even if there isn't a clear victim, you can still use restitution. If you discover your teen has been speeding when borrowing your car, make him perform community service activities before he can borrow the car again. Assign a certain number of hours he must perform. When he completes his community service, you'll know he's trying to behave responsible enough to earn his privileges back.

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