The Pep Talk Every Tween Needs to Hear

Help your tween get through challenges with an upbeat pep talk

A positive pep talk will help your tween through challenges.
Make sure your tween knows that responsibilities should be balanced with fun. Flickr/hepingting

 Life is changing for your older child and while some of those changes are exciting, others can be scary and present problems your tween doesn't yet know how to manage. Every tween will get down in the dumps at some point, but there's a lot you can do to reenergize your child and help him regain a positive and proactive outlook. If your tween is in need of a pep talk, be sure you share the following valuable life lessons.


The Pep Talk Every Tween Should Hear

It's All a Balance: Your tween may be overwhelmed with increased school responsibilities and homework. As important as school is your child should also know that one has to achieve a healthy balance in life, and that fun and social time is also important. If you sense that your child is stressing out over grades, projects, and other commitments, it might be time to step in and help your tween find time for fun and friends. 

Be Kind: One of easiest ways to achieve a lifetime of happiness is to learn how to be kind to others. Foster kindness in your tween and be sure you reward his kind behavior when you see it. The best way for any child to learn kindness is to see parents and other adult role models demonstrate it. Point out how being kind helps improve your mood and make a bad day even better. 

Resilience Matters: Life can be a challenge at any age and the sooner your tween develops coping and skills of resilience, the better.

Help your child learn how to shrug off the small and annoying things that happen at home, at school, or even on the playing field. If your tween can learn to take a deep breath and move forward after disappointment, he'll find his teen and young adult years much easier to manage. 

Own Your Mistakes: Mistakes can be embarrassing, they can hurt, and they can be serious.

But if your tween doesn't own up to the mistakes she's making, she won't learn from them. This is a difficult skill for a person of any age to master. The best advice for any parent is to point out examples of people who admit their mistakes and move on. You may have to demonstrate this skill yourself before your tween can fully grasp how important it is. 

A Good Friend is Everything: Some tweens are super popular with their peers, others may not be so lucky. All tweens should know how important a good friend can be in life, and that one good friend may be all you really need. Point out the qualities that make a good friend and a strong friendship, and let your tween know that you can learn a lot when a friendship turns bad or goes through a difficult phase. Be sure you get to know your tween's friends, so you can make yourself aware of any potential problems or challenges. Your intervention may not be necessary, but it doesn't hurt to know who your child's peers are, and how they might be influencing  her.


It's the Effort That Counts: It's hard for tweens to take a chance on things, but when they do the payoffs can be surprisingly wonderful. Your tween's confidence may not make trying out for a part in the school play easy, but with your encouragement she can learn a lot just from the experience. It's important for tweens to know that there is nothing to be gained by talking oneself out of potentially exciting opportunities. Give your tween a little nudge and she might make the team, or find herself standing on the school stage reciting her lines. 

Get To Know Oneself: Your child may be so busy trying to fit in with her peers that she never spends time alone or thinks about the things that come to you when you're in a quiet place. A little alone time is good for anybody, and your tween is no different. Help her schedule time to herself so she can daydream, plan, rest, meditate, read, journal or draw. She may find that she enjoys this time to herself, and learns a little about herself at the same time.

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