10 Things Moms of Twins are Tired of Explaining

10 Things Moms of Twins are Tired of Explaining

Things Moms of Twins are Tired of Explaining. Tim Platt / Getty Images

Let's face it, moms of twins are tired. Parenting two at a time takes a toll! With sleepless nights and long stamina-straining days spent caring for two babies or chasing two toddlers, there is not much energy left over. Yet, just when moms of twins reach the peak of exhaustion, someone inevitably peppers them with questions and comments about having twins. They hear the same things over and over, and quite frankly, they get tired of explaining it. This article looks at the top 10 things that moms of twins are tired of explaining. 

Yes, They're Twins

Are They Twins?. Ned Frisk / Getty Images

You see two infants, dressed alike, in a double stroller with a tired-looking mom. And yet, the first question you ask is, "Are they twins?" Really?!?!  While it may be tempting to pull a straight face and answer, "No," moms of twins inevitably will smile and patiently explain, "Yes, they're twins." Then they grit their teeth and wait for the inevitable next question... 

Whether They're Identical or Fraternal Twins

Mom with nonidentical twins. amriphoto / Getty Images

 Twin zygosity -- the fancy word to explain twin type, or whether twins are identical or fraternal -- seems to be a popular topic of conversation about twins. Frankly, moms of twins are much less concerned with it than everyone else. But it's an issue that they have to address frequently, sometimes on a daily basis. And sometimes there's not a simple answer -- many families don't even know for sure! Unless, of course, the twins are a boy and a girl.... 

Why They Can't Be Identical Twins if They're a Boy and a Girl

Boy Girl Twins. Ruth Jenkinson / Getty Images

 Isn't it obvious? There's a pretty distinct difference between boys and girls, making them decidedly UNidentical. Yet, moms of boy/girl twins frequently have to explain why their twins are not identical, which usually includes an anatomy review and a genetics lesson. Of course, there are always those that have to refute the claim that boy/girl twins can't be identical, citing the (exceedingly) rare exception of twins born with a genetic abnormality. (Do you actually know these twins? I've certainly never met any twins with this situation.) But moms of twins are tired of explaining it. (Just refer them to this article if they want the facts. )

Yes, I Can Tell My Twins Apart

Mom playing with twins. Henglein and Steets / Getty Images

Yes, some twins look amazingly alike. But, guess what? Moms know their kids ... and they can tell them apart even if they are identical twins. To moms, their children are amazing individuals, and aside from the occasional sleepy mix up or double take, they know who's who. 

No, They Don't Do Everything Exactly Alike

Twins running. Ridarz'9 / Getty Images

 So we've established that YES they're twins and YES they're identical. But that doesn't mean that they are clones. As we've mentioned, to moms, their twins are individuals. They have unique and distinct personalities, interests, and characters. While there are a lot of things that they do together, they don't do everything at the same time, and they're not exactly alike. Moms of twins celebrate and cherish every moment, every milestone and every memory for each child. 

Yes, They're Natural

Mom with Newborn Twins. Nino H. Photography / Getty Images

 It may seem crazy to think that someone would actually pose this question to a mom of twins. To ask, "Are they natural?" about someone's children is a little offensive. What does that even mean? But you'd be surprised at how often this topic is raised with moms of twins. What people are actually inquiring about is whether the twins are the result of reproductive assistance -- fertility drugs, procedures like in vitro fertilization, or other technology. The media often perpetuates the idea that multiples are caused by fertility enhancements, and so people associate them together. But it's just plain inappropriate to ask a mother for details about her children's conception, or to insinuate in any way that her children are un-natural. 

How Twins Run in Families

Mom and Twins. Brian Summers / Getty Images

 Do twins run in your family? This is a common question directed at moms of twins. Most of the time, they just want to answer, 'Well, they do now!" or if their twins are old enough, "Yep, they sure do. They run here and there and everywhere!" Moms of twins get tired of explaining this concept because there's no short and easy answer. If you answer, "Yes," then you have to describe your family history. If you answer, "No," then you have to explain why not all twins are caused by genetics. And frankly, who has time for this extended discussion? Especially when your twins ARE running ... in opposite directions away from you!

Why Having Twins is Not The Same as Having Two Kids Close in Age

Mom holding twins. Tetra Images / Getty Images

Want to see a mom of twins grit her teeth? Then tell her how your sister has Irish twins and it's just like having twins, or how your kids were only 26 months apart and it's just like having twins. Moms of twins will try to be polite on the outside, but on the inside, they're disagreeing vehemently. Having twins is not really the same as having two kids close in age. It's not harder, it's not easier, it's just not the same. They can't explain it, so don't even make them try. (Here's another look at this issue.)

How I Manage with Twins

Mom with crying twins. Jessie Jean / Getty Images

 "How do you manage?" It's a phrase directed at moms of twins on a regular basis. Sometimes it's issued with genuine respect and admiration. But sometimes it feels like a criticism or judgement, like they're not quite pulling it off. How do they manage? They manage just fine, doing the best they can with what they've got, caring for and loving two little bundles of joy. But they can't explain how they do it, and if they stop to try, it might just all fall apart. 

Why I Wouldn't Trade it For the World

Mom with School Age Twins. Evelyn Peyton / Getty Images

Most moms never imagined that they'd have twins. Few moms actually wished for it or asked for it. But with few exception, they wouldn't trade having twins for anything in the world. It's an amazing, fascinating, exhilarating experience to bring two babies into the world and watch them grow up simultaneously. It's a privilege to observe their incredible bond. It's extremely satisfying to nurture two unique individuals within a shared environment. And it's an exquisite feeling to hold two babies at your breast, or to feel four arms around your neck in a double hug, or to proudly watch two young adults graduate from high school in the same time. It's truly a double blessing to be a mom of twins. They can't explain it, and they sure wouldn't give it up for anything. 

Continue Reading