5 Things You Shouldn't Tell Yourself When Pregnant

Don't Talk Down to Yourself in Pregnancy

Positive pregnant women don't talk down to themselves.
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Pregnancy is supposed to be a joyful time. It is a time to think about positive thoughts and of moving forward in life, as you add your new baby to your existing family. This can be very hard to do in today’s wild and awkward world, particularly when pregnancy is portrayed to be something dangerous and fearful at every turn.

All of the negativity surrounding pregnancy can really begin to weigh on you as a pregnant woman. This, in turn, can lead to a lot of negative self-talk. The negative self-talk then leads to worrisome thinking and it becomes a vicious cycle. Some here are five things that you shouldn’t say to yourself when pregnant:

  • I’m fat.
    It’s so easy to become weight conscious while pregnant. Yes, weight gain is important for a healthy baby, but this isn’t the same thing as gorging on bad for your foods. Try to turn it around and look at it as how your body is growing and changing to accommodate the baby, knowing that it is temporary.
  • Birth is scary.
    Fear of the unknown is fairly normal. So we tend to try to educate ourselves while pregnant, the problem is that most of the education we try to get is not from appropriate sources. Turn off the pregnancy trash TV and get yourself to a good childbirth class. Learn about pregnancy from people who have been there and had positive experiences.
  • I’ll be a bad parent.
    It is also normal to worry about being a good parent. Perhaps you had great parents and worry about living up to their standards. Maybe you didn’t have perfect parents and want to do something differently. Either way, know that as a parent, you will make mistakes, it will be okay. Do your homework, learn what you can ahead of time, but more importantly, find a good support system for your parenting, people that you can call and talk to about what it’s like to be a good parent, and to help you talk through the decisions you have to make.
  • Breastfeeding will be impossible.
    Breastfeeding can be wonderful, but many moms will have some type of challenge to overcome, even if it is merely, how to fit breastfeeding into their lifestyle. Good preparation with a breastfeeding class, the support system that includes a knowledgeable breastfeeding professional (This is often not your pediatrician.) and other mothers who have successfully met their breastfeeding goals – this is what will help you prepare for a positive breastfeeding experience, even if you have some rough spots.
  • I’m not able to make decisions about my pregnancy and birth.
    There are so many decision that you will be asked to make in pregnancy. Sometimes the sheer volume is overwhelming. Talk to your doctor or midwife if you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t abdicate the responsibility to the default option or other people. Ask if you can know what decisions you’ll be asked to make ahead of time, so that you can be prepared. So, for example, if you know that you’ll be asked to decide if you want an AFP test around week 15, you can learn what the test is, rather than have to make a spur of the moment decision. Knowing about all of your options for labor can also help you make the best decision for you. You can find out about these by having discussions with your practitioner as well as in a childbirth class.

Pregnancy is a time to learn and explore. If you’re feeling down and worried all the time, that can make it difficult for you to grow as you need to grow. Try to remember that many mothers have come before you. Learn from others, be open to new ideas.

Be cognizant of where you are getting your information. Is the stream constantly negative or worrisome? Do all the headlines have some scare tactic in it? That’s not to say that you’ll never be asked to make a tough decision, but it needs to be balanced with the joys of pregnancy as well.

Consider what you do to help you be positive about your pregnancy and impending parenthood. Some examples of ways to stay positive, even in the midst of a rough pregnancy, can include:

Need some more inspiration? Read on: Pregnancy Inspiration

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