Three Things to Do With Expired Condoms

There are plenty of fun sexy things to do with condoms when they're before their expiration date - you can use them for vaginal, anal, or oral sex, either as they are or cut up into dental dams. But what do you do when your condoms expire?

Condoms expiring before they are used is just a fact of life, even if most people are bad about remembering to check for the expiration date. Are they immediately going to go bad after the date on the packet goes by? Probably not, but when practicing safer sex, it's better to be safe than sorry*.

Unfortunately, sometimes even people who have a lot of sex discover that they end up with a few expired prophylactics -- because they bought them late in their shelf life or because they got lost in the bottom of a toy bag or drawer. What do you do then? You get creative

*Although you're still likely to be better off using an expired condom than no condom, if those are your only two acceptable choices.

Use them on sex toys

Condom on sex toy
A condom being rolled over the tip of a sex toy. (c) 2014 Elizabeth R. Boskey licensed to, Inc.

The sexiest use for expired condoms is making sex toy play safer. If you share sex toys with a partner, or even if you don't, condoms can be a great way to keep penetration toys (or even vibrators) clean.

Expiration date doesn't matter nearly as much for this kind of use, since there's no significant downside to a breakage -- other than needing to clean the toy sooner and more thoroughly.

When using condoms with sex toys, they should be put on the toy before use and discarded and changed between partners. Swapping out a condom is a lot easier than thoroughly cleaning a beloved toy that you both want to use in the heat of the moment.

Take them on a camping trip

Condom full of water
Condom full of water. Fotosearch/Getty Images

I know that most people don't think of condoms as essentials for camping, unless they are camping with a sex partner, but condoms can actually be quite useful in the outdoors. Although they're delicate, they can be used to carefully carry water or other liquids, or to keep a bottle of shampoo from spilling all over everything. You can keep also keep things that need to stay dry (like tinder... or your cell phone) inside them to protect them from rain. After all, condoms are designed to keep fluids in (or out). Using expired condoms for that purpose, in non-critical health settings, is a no-brainer.

Make Sexy Balloon Animals

Balloon Dogs
Balloon Dogs. Tom And Steve/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images

If there's nothing else you can think of to do with your expired condoms, you can always make them into fun balloon sculptures to get people talking at a party... or bring a little laughter into the bedroom. It's important to remember, after all, that sex is supposed to be fun. While you want to be smart about sex, you don't want to lose the joy, the excitement, and the heat.

Condoms: Buy Early, Buy Often

There's a common myth that men are supposed to buy condoms, not women. It's a silly notion, particularly when you consider the fact that women who have sex with women use condoms too. So, no matter your gender or your partners, stock up on safe sex supplies before you're ready to start having sex. Having condoms and other barriers on hand means that you'll be prepared if you change your mind, and if they expire, it's not the end of the world. You can find other uses for your expired condoms, or even throw them away.

No one will ever know the difference.

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