10 Tips for Grandmas About Birth

10 Tips for Grandmas About Labor

Grandma at a birth
Photo © Universal Images Group/Getty Images

Dear Grandma-to-be,

Here are some things I've been meaning to share with you about our upcoming birth:

1. It's not your birth.

You've had your children. It's my turn. Please understand that I need to make decisions for my baby and my birth.

2. My choices are my own.

No one is forcing me to do anything. I've learned quite a bit and studied. I've taken childbirth classes and chosen a path that is my own.

I'm happy to explain some of my choices to you, you might really find it fascinating.

3. It's a due date, not an expiration date.

A due date is a guess, not an appointment. Please avoid calling me multiple times a day to ask if I'm still around. I promise to keep our plans to let you know what's going on.

4. Dads are allowed in.

It's not going to scar my husband to see me giving birth. It's a decision we've made together and thankfully no one has to handcuff themselves anywhere. I know it may not have been done this way when you had your kids, but it's pretty much the norm now.

5. Invitations are to be given not assumed.

I know all the other grandmas are going into labor rooms. If that's what we want, I promise you'll be the first to know. If we decide against it, don't be offended. Please give us space to make this decision. 

6. Follow my lead.

I may not want a whole waiting room of people while I'm giving birth.

Follow my lead on this one and come when I call and not sooner. I know you're anxious, but the most important thing is that I'm unhindered to give birth. I promise you will have plenty of snuggle time, just be patient.

7. It's a doula.

A doula is someone to help me. The difference between you and her is that she can step back and be objective.

She also has lots of training to support us in our decisions. She does this for a living. She has a lot of experience helping mothers give birth.

8. It might seem a bit strange...

But I've decided to have an epidural/homebirth/unmedicated birth. It took me a long time to come to this decision, and it wasn't made lightly. Please respect it. I've been studying up and reading and talking to lots of people, including my doctor or midwife. They support me too.

9. Give me some time alone.

Once the baby is born it will take a bit of time to get me cleaned up and for me to greet my new baby. Don't take it personally if you're not in the room five seconds after the baby is born.

10. You're going to be an amazing grandma!

I can't believe you're going to be a grandma! But I'm also excited. There are so many things I need your help with and I can't wait to share my baby with you. You are going to have a lot to share with me and I am open to learning from you, just know I will make mistakes.


Your Daughter or Daughter-in-law

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