5 Different Types of Child Discipline

Learn About the Different Philosophies and Techniques

Although new parenting books and child discipline strategies are always surfacing, many 'new' parenting ideas are actually subtypes of the basic five types of discipline. Experts don’t always agree on which type of discipline is best, but it’s clear that there are benefits of each one. T

Determining which type of discipline is right for your family should be a personal choice based on your temperament, your child’s temperament, and your family's discipline philosophies. There isn’t a single type of discipline that will work for all kids or all families and in every situation. It’s likely that you might take an eclectic approach, where you use a few different techniques from each type of discipline.

1
Positive Discipline

Mother and Daughter
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Positive discipline is based on praise, and encouragement. Instead of focusing on punishment, parents keep make discipline about teaching. 

Parents teach problem-solving skills and work with their child to develop solutions. Positive discipline uses family meetings and an authoritative approach to addressing behavior problems.

Example: A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework.

A parent using positive discipline might sit down with the child and say, “I know your teacher wants you to get your math paper done tonight and you don’t want to do it. What can we do to get that paper done so you’ll be able to show Mrs. Smith that you got all your homework done on time?”

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2
Gentle Discipline


Gentle discipline focuses on preventing problems. Redirection is often used to steer kids away from bad behavior.

Kids are given consequences, but gentle discipline isn't about instilling shame. Instead, parents often use humor and distraction. The focus of gentle discipline is about parents managing their own emotions while addressing a child's misbehavior.  

Example: A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework.

A parent using gentle discipline might respond with humor by saying, “Would you rather write a two page paper to your teacher explaining why you didn’t want to do your math tonight?” Once the situation is diffused, a gentle disciplinarian would likely offer to look at the math paper alongside the child to discuss getting it done.

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3
Boundary-Based Discipline

Boundary-based discipline focuses on setting limits, and making the rules clear up front. Kids are then given choices and there are clear consequences for misbehavior, such as logical consequences or natural consequences.

Example: A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework.

A parent using boundary-based discipline would set a limit and make the consequence clear by saying, “You won’t be able to use any of your electronics tonight until your work is done.”

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4
Behavior Modification


Behavior modification focuses on positive and negative consequences. Good behavior is reinforced with praise, or rewards. Misbehavior is discouraged through the use of ignoring and negative consequences, like the loss of privileges.

Example: A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework.

A parent using behavior modification might remind the child of any prearranged rewards already in place by saying, “Remember, once you get your homework done, you get to use the computer for 30 minutes.” Praise would be offered if the child chooses to comply. The parent would ignore any protests. 

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5
Emotion Coaching

Emotion coaching is a five step discipline process that focuses on teaching kids about feelings. When kids understand their feelings, they can verbalize them rather than act on them. Kids are taught that their feelings are okay and parents help teach them appropriate ways to deal with their emotions.

Example: A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework.

A parent using emotion coaching would likely try to help the child identify feelings by saying, “I know it makes you sad that you can’t play all night because you have to do your homework. Math can be really hard sometimes too and that makes you frustrated when you don’t know the answers or when it takes a really long time. Let’s spend a few minutes drawing a picture about how you feel when it’s time to do your math homework.”

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