Walking Funny - Racewalking Slogans and Comeback Lines

Walking Funny - Racewalking Slogans and Comeback Lines

Racewalker. rhoon/DigitalVision/Getty Images

Racewalkers have plenty of experience in coming up with comebacks they wish they had made to heckles like, "Do you want some fries to go with that shake?" Their hip-swinging style draws stares and jeers, even as they pass runners during races from 5K through a​marathon.

A racewalking online group brainstormed in-your-face slogans to promote racewalking to high school kids. They hoped to recruit the next generation of this Olympic sport while poking fun at themselves.

Warning: innuendo and gross remarks ahead!

Racewalkers vs. Runners

  • It's OK. I think runners look funny
  • Are you going to let a walker beat you?
  • Screw with em! Walk past a runner!
  • I'm only slightly slower than the fastest female runner in the race!
  • I'm only slightly slower than the fastest male runner in the race!
  • Runners who racewalk run faster
  • Racewalking: the benefits of running without the injuries
  • I love to run" (with "run" struck through a "racewalk" written below it)
  • If I'm walking 'as fast as' you're running, how come I just passed you?
  • The World Record for the 20 km RACEWALK is 1:17:25 -- You can't even bike that fast!
  • Winners Racewalk, Others Run.
  • If God wanted people to run, he wouldn't have invented racewalking

Racewalkers Get No Respect with these Slogans

Racewalking Sequence
Racewalking Sequence. Dorling Kindersley/Dorling Kindersley RD/Getty Images

Racewalkers are used to getting slammed and taunted, notably by broadcasters during the Olympic Games. These slogans lament this.

  • Racewalking: It's harder than running--but people laugh at you anyway.
  • Racewalking: The Rodney Dangerfield of endurance events.
  • Racewalking we didn't even get coverage in Walking Magazine!
  • Disgusted by the demise of amateurism? Sick of athletes earning mega-bucks for playing games? Try racewalking: the poor athlete's sport!
  • No, he isn't a runner.
  • Yes, it's in the Olympics

Oh My... Racewalking Slogans with Double Entendre

Racewalking Woman
Racewalking Woman. rhoon/DigitalVision/Getty Images

Sexy, sexy racewalkers...

  • Racewalkers finish faster.
  • Racewalkers do it with straight knees
  • Racewalkers do it with style
  • Racewalkers keep it straight longer.
  • Racewalkers keep it up longer . . .
  • Racewalkers do it with technique!! -- With one foot on the ground at all times!

Racewalking - Extreme Sport Slogans

Exhausted Racewalker Bernard Segura
Exhausted Racewalker Bernard Segura. Mike Powell /Allsport ©

Racewalking is an extreme sport, with an Olympic medal distance longer than a marathon. Racewalkers know they earn their awards, and these slogans celebrate that.

  • Racewalking: Star Fleet Academy's Official Sport
  • I'm doing this to lose 90 pounds--and to make the Olympics.
  • I Laugh at Extreme Sports 50k Racewalkers Rule!
  • VO2=MAX=Racewalking
  • RACEWALK: Too Kewl for Fools
  • ExXxxtReeme wAlKinG!!! (mandatory random capitalization)
  • Racewalking is a Hip Sport.
  • Racewalkers are Hip People.
  • Racewalking: The "Injury Free Sport!" (Except for chronic tendonitis, hamstring pulls, inguinal hernias, sciatica, etc., etc., etc.)

Slogans Only Other Racewalkers will Understand

20 Kilometer Race Walk - 2012 London Olympic Games
20 Kilometer Race Walk - 2012 London Olympic Games. Getty Images Sports / Jeff J. Mitchell

You have to know the rules of racewalking and have attended a few races to understand these slogans.

  • Racewalking: Do it wrong and we throw your a** out!
  • Straight Leg. Not just a good idea, it's the law!
  • Roll them hips for fun and profit... RaceWalking!
  • Racewalking: Creeps need not apply!
  • Bend a knee, go to jail
  • Do you like to puke? Try racewalking!
  • Walk till ya puke!

Not the Real Rules of Racewalking

Johann Diniz Sets Mens 50K Racewalk Record 2014
Johann Diniz Sets Mens 50K Racewalk Record 2014. Ian Walton/Getty Images Sport

You may want to visit the real definition of racewalking as a sport. Then we have it as amended by Racewalk coach Dave McGovern, aka RayZwocker:

1.) "Racewalking: A profession of steps so taken that the walker makes very little contact with reality. So that no visible (to the human eye) loss of contact occurs, the walker must try to look really good in front of the judges, then run like hell between 'em. The advancing walkers must be straightened out (ie., not bent over like a pack of crippled octogenarians) from the moment of the first contact with Frank Alongi. Failure to adhere to the above definition will result in the stigma of looking like a couple of guys walking around in a horse costume."

Random Laws of Racewalking

Damon Clements of the Indiana Racewalkers offers these rules:

1. No one behind the first 50 walkers at the starting line of a race can understand the starter's announcements.
2. Moderate hills aren't.
3. Regardless of the wind direction before you turn for home, the last mile is always against the wind.
4. If you hear a song you really hate just before a race, you are doomed to hear it in your head, over and over, the entire distance.
5. Regardless of your age group, it always seems that the next older group is where you could really excel.
6. Never spit into the wind.
7. The person you successfully worked so hard to overtake just before the finish will enter a different chute and be credited with a better finish place.
8. You know the honeymoon is over when your spouse no longer comes out to watch you race.
9. Racewalking while gulping water is a skill worth developing.
10. The race may be to the swift, but the random drawing grand prize will go to someone in the back of the pack.

Thanks to these folks for the slogans: Racewalking Email group
The group discusses racewalking events, clubs, training. The Racewalk email group includes world class athletes and coaches as well as beginning racewalkers worldwide.

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