Definition of Mean Girls

Mean girls and bullies are common in middle school

Sisters arguing in living room
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As if middle school wasn't difficult enough, these years also see a peak in bullying behavior. Both girls and boys are likely to encounter bullying behavior, in fact, girls may even be more likely to experience stressful encounters with obnoxious and aggressive peers. The best way to educate your child about bullies and other tormentors is to understand the bullying culture. 

Question: What are Mean Girls?


Definition: The label "Mean Girls" is a tween expression used to describe girls who exhibit anti-social behavior known as Relational Aggression. The term was popularized by the movie Mean Girls, starring Lindsay Lohan. Mean girl behavior includes gossip, verbal put downs of others, bullying, backstabbing, and using others to get ahead. Girls who are friendly one minute, and mean the next may be referred to as frenemies.

Mean girls can be found at school, on the bus, and at extra-curricular activities. They are particularly good at turning friend against friend, and they target girls who they are jealous of, or who stick out from the crowd. Mean girls thrive on drama, and often resort to cyberbullying to torment their victims. It can be difficult to spot a mean girl, as they are experts at bullying under the radar of teachers, other students, and other adults. Mean girls may be considered to be popular by their peers, but that may not always be the case.


How can I help my daughter deal with a mean girl? 

The best way to help your daughter manage a bully or a mean girl is to talk about the behaviors, and to let your child know that you're always there to talk and listen. If your tween knows she can turn to you for advise, she'll not feel so alone. Help your child develop skills to deal with gossip or alienation.

Role playing is a great way to help your tween deal with potential problems with her peers. 

You can also make sure your tween develops as many healthy friendships as possible, so that she'll have peer support if she ever encounters a bully or mean girl. Friendships can be made in school, as well in extra curricular activities outside of school. Talk with your tween about what makes a true friend, and the qualities that she would like her friends to have. Suggest ways your tween can support her friends, should they encounter the class mean girl. Also, talk about how to spot a bully or mean girl, as well as ways to prevent possible encounters or altercations. 

What not to do: If your child is complaining about bullies, it's time to pay attention. Bullying behavior can be dangerous, and your tween isn't likely to know how to deal with the problem all on her own. If left unchecked, bullying can damage your tween's self esteem, and make her school life miserable. If necessary, consider contacting the school for support.

Your child's teachers or school counselor may be able to help your tween. 

Also Known As: Divas, Gossip Girls, Meanies, Frenemy, Relational Aggression, Queen Bees, and Poison Pals

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