What to do When Your Spouse/Loved One Doesn't Exercise

After being married for going on 10 years, I've learned something important: You can't make other people do what you want. You may want them to exercise and eat healthy but they won't always do it. You may even want them to, say, pick up their dirty socks or stop leaving 1,000 pairs of shoes by the door, but they won't do that either (not that I'm talking about anyone in particular). For some reason, these people we get involved with tend to make their own decisions.

I know...what's up with that?

I bring this up because of a few interesting comments I got in a reader's response article, Who sabotages your weight loss? and some readers mentioned loved ones as a common culprit. One woman said:

"Husband is heavy, I lost 160 pounds and was so proud of myself...I told him the compliments I was getting (big mistake). What followed was anger and fighting and jealousy. I just wanted him to be proud of me. I have now gained almost all of it back and even if I try to lose it will not come off. Sometimes I wonder if I don't want it bad enough. I do not want to go through what I went through before. "

On the other side of that is the self-described enabler who said:

"Looks like hell is other people. In my house, I'm the cook, the one who makes fatty, sugary, salty, carby meals, and who is overweight. I'm a foody, I can't stand to limit portions, exercise hasn't helped much in the past. I'm doomed!"

In previous posts, I've talked about ideas for encouraging them to exercise, but what do you do when you've changed but your loved one hasn't? How do you handle things when you have to make separate meals or find ways to avoid their unhealthy cooking? What do you do when your loved one gets upset about your exercise time?

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