4 Reasons Why Forgiving a Bully Is Best

Discover how forgiveness is one of the best ways for victims to heal

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Most people find it difficult to forgive what someone else has done to them. Part of this is because they have the wrong view of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean excusing or condoning another person’s behavior or bullying. It also does not mean you have to forget nor does it mean that you do not hold them accountable. Forgiveness is more about healing your heart than it is about letting someone else off the hook.

While it is normal  to want the bully to understand the pain you have experienced and to suffer like you have suffered, seeking revenge is not healthy. Here are five reasons why it is better to forgive a bully than it is to get revenge.

Forgiveness allows you to move on. While it is important to acknowledge that bullying has hurt you, it is equally as important to make a choice that hurt will not continue to define you. Sometimes the best way to do that is forgiveness because it allows you to move on. You are not dwelling on what the bully has said or done. In fact, you are rarely thinking about him or what happened because forgiveness allows you to focus on what is really important in life. Forgiveness frees you from the control the bully had over you.

Keep in mind though, this does not mean you are letting the bully off the hook. You should still report bullying and take steps to hold the bully accountable.

The difference is that you are not allowing what happened to you to run your life. You are the one in control.

Forgiveness is healthier than revenge. When you forgive someone, you go through a process where you find peace and contentment despite how you were treated. Remember, dwelling on what happened to you and allowing it to make you angry and stressed is really bad for your health.

It also keeps you in stuck in victim-mode. Do not let what happened in the past ruin your future. Make a choice to forgive the person that hurt you.

Forgiveness allows you to take back your power. Once you recognize that you have control over your feelings, your reactions and your thoughts, this is empowering. Bullying is a terrible thing and it is normal to struggle with forgiveness, but once you realize that you have a choice, you will feel more in control.

You can choose to continue to plot revenge, feel hurt, resentful and angry. Or, you can choose to take responsibility for your reaction to a bully, forgive and move on. Remember, too, when you plot revenge or react emotionally to a bully, you are giving him what he wants. He wants a reaction from you. But if you do not give him a negative reaction, you have taken back the power.

Forgiveness builds resilience. Once you have been bullied and you realize that you can overcome it and persevere, you will realize how much stronger you feel. You have experienced something horrible and yet you did not allow it define you. You are more than a victim of bullying.

This awareness builds your resilience and allows you to bounce back from the wounds bullying caused.

Of course this does not mean that you will not get hurt again or that you shouldn’t be angry when someone is mean, but it does equip you with the skills you need to be an overcomer no matter what life throws your way.

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