6 Ways You Are Not Alone With Infertility

What to Remember When You Feel Isolated and Alone with Infertility

Couple holding hands at start of a road
You may feel like you're walking this path alone -- but you are, in fact, not alone with infertility. Cultura RM/Gary John Norman / Getty Images

Infertility can lead to feelings of isolation. You may very alone at times – you but are not, in fact, alone.

Millions Have Traveled These Same Troubled Waters

Your story is yours, and it is unique.

With that said – there are millions of unique people like you traveling the infertility waters.

According to statistics collected by the CDC from 2006 to 2010, 6.7 million women have reported having either decreased fertility or an inability to carry a baby to term.

And 7.4 million women reported using fertility treatment at some point in their lives. 

Seven point four million.  

To give you an idea of how many people that is...

Michigan Stadium, the football stadium for University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan, is the largest stadium in the United States and second largest in the world.

Its official capacity is 109,901.

If you wanted a seat for those 7.4 million women who have used fertility treatments, you would need 68 stadiums!

Or, another perspective, 7.4 million is almost twice the population of Los Angeles, California. 

Fertility Advocates Are Fighting for You

Hundreds of advocates attend Advocacy Day in Washington, D.C. They travel on their own dime to fight for the rights of those with infertility.

They are there advocating for you.

Almost 4,000 fertility blogs are listed in Mel Ford’s Infertility Blog roll. If they were writing only for themselves, they’d be writing in journals or notebooks.

Not on a public blog.

They are writing for you.

The Walk of Hope is an advocacy project of Resolve: The National Association for Infertility.

In 2014, in walks in that took place in five different cities, more than 2,600 walkers participated.

Those 2,600 + walkers walked for you.

Your Fertility Doctor Is On Your Side

You may or may not meet the right doctor right away.

  But once you find that doctor, she will be on your side.

She became a doctor because she wants to help people like you.

You are not battling infertility alone.

Your Very Fertile Friends Want to Support You

I’m not talking about the insensitive friends – and we all have a few of those.

I’m talking about the true friends. The people who are there for us no matter what.

They may not have experienced infertility themselves. And they may not be very knowledgeable of the details of infertility and fertility treatment.

But I promise you that they are there for you. If you haven’t told them, I can tell you that they do want you to tell them. They want to help.

You are not alone.

Your Family Wants to Support You (Really, They Do... Really)

Just as with friends, we all have family that isn’t as supportive as they should be.

But I know there is at least one person in your family who could be there for you. A cousin, a sibling, and aunt or uncle. A parent or grandparent.

Teach them how to be there for you, because they want to be there for you.

You are not alone.

Both the Lurkers and Posters in Fertility Forums Are With You

Fertility forums are often like online support groups. You can share your story, bond together over your experiences, and give each other well-meaning advice (when appropriate.)

All those people hanging out in fertility forums want to hear from you. If people like you don’t post, there’s no forum.

Even the lurkers are there for you. Maybe they aren’t sharing, but it’s your posts that may comfort them when they’re searching for answers or support.

They want to read your TMI story, the details of your last treatment cycle.

They want to read your posts because it helps them feel like someone else in this world understands. Someone else has gone through what they have gone through.

They feel less alone by reading your story.

They are not alone.

And neither are you.

More on coping with infertility:


Infertility: Fast Stats. Center for Disease Control. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/infertility.htm Accessed April 30, 2015.

Rebecca Flick, Vice President, Communications and Programs. RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. Email/Facebook interview. April 20th, 2015.  

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