You Know You're Marathon Tapering When...

Runner lying on the couch
Photo by Steve Cole

The pre-marathon tapering period can be a stressful time. You're nervous about your upcoming race, you feel like you're losing fitness, and you just want your marathon to be here already. To lighten your mood and de-stress, see how many of these pre-tapering behaviors you can relate to.

You know you're tapering when...

  • you're constantly hungry.
     
  • you're having dreams that you show up to the race start in your underwear or without your running shoes.
     
  • you're cranky from not running as much.
     
  • you find yourself frequently saying, "after the marathon..."
     
  • your friends/significant other/co-workers run in the opposite direction when you mention the word "marathon."
     
  • you keep flip-flopping between wishing the race was tomorrow and thinking it would be great to have a few more weeks of training.
     
  • you keep asking people for recommendations for your marathon song playlist.
     
  • you visit the starting line area to visualize race day.
     
  • you've completely lost focus at work.
     
  • you're reading a lot of motivational quotes about marathons.
     
  • you're convinced you've gained 10 pounds since you started tapering.
     
  • you feel sluggish and like you could run forever...all during the same run.
     
  • you've planned out three possible outfits for the race and keep asking running friends for opinions on which one to go with.
     
  • you have random bursts of energy when you want to reorganize your closets or kitchen pantry.
     
  • you've studied the course map enough that you've memorized where all the Porta-potties will be on the course.
     
  • you research celebrity marathon times to see what famous people you could beat.
     
  • you've tried every race time prediction calculator on the Internet.
     
  • you've vowed to not eat pasta for at least a month after the marathon.
     
  • you obsessively check the weather forecast for race day.
     
  • most of your Facebook updates are marathon-related.
     
  • you start panicking when someone sneezes near you and you immediately break out your hand sanitizer (before running to the bathroom to wash your hands, again).
     
  • you've lost patience for the people who ask, "So, how long is this marathon?"
     
  • you feel tired during a short run and start wondering how you can possibly do 26.2.
     
  • you keep giving your family members and friends suggestions for marathon spectator signs.
     
  • every little twinge makes you worry that you may have a race-ending injury.
     
  • you've already picked out the spot where you'll display your marathon medal.


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